The Solution to All Your Holiday Gift Giving Needs (Yer Welcome!) #78

Look out! Yes, it’s true; 4 Hicks On a Stick are back with the creation of a brand new board game that will be released just in time for Christmas! Hooray!

It’s called ‘Are They Dedd Yet?’ and it goes something like this.

How many times have you been out with friends and the conversation turns to a certain celebrity and you start wondering if they are dead or still alive? Well, this question got Bud, Merle Dean, Bobby Ray, and yours truly, Lucie Mae, motivated to create this really special game. Each player will roll a dice, highest number goes first. All the squares around the board require bits of knowledge about famous people and will include:

  1. Are They Dedd Yet?
  2. For What Are They Famous?
  3. Are They Gay or Straight?
  4. Who Are Their Spouses (past AND present, of course!)
  5. What’s Their Zodiac Sign?
  6. Where Were They Born? (state or country)
  7. Have They Had Surgical Enhancements? (bonus points for each correct renovation you can name)
  8. If They’re Dedd, In What Year Did They Die?
  9. What Are Their Favorite Pastimes or Hobbies? (think Paul Newman and car racing, Tiger and Tiger’s Blood/Warlock and their bevy of ho hos)
  10. Where Is Their Principal Residence?
  11. With Whom Have They Had Illicit Romances? (bonus points available if you can name the mistress or mister)
  12. Are They Fashion Icons or Fashion Don’ts?
  13. Can You Name Any Famous Offspring?
  14. Do They Have Any Famous Parents or Siblings?
  15. What Was Their Cause of Death?

Each roll of your dice will advance you around the board, except landing on the dreaded “Four Corners”. One of these requires knowledge of any arrests, DUI’s or jail time they have been subject to, another requires an answer to “Have They Ever Been Publicly Humiliated?” i.e. caught urinating in public or discovered inside a peep show dressed in a clown costume? If you answer these questions incorrectly, you must immediately re-roll your dice and go BACKWARD (this is the game board equivalent of being in seriously deep doo doo).

Conversely, you may be fortunate enough to land on two of the reward corners, one of which is “What Is This Star’s Favorite Spa Retreat?”, and the other being “What Is Your Star’s Favorite Vacation Destination?” Correct answers to either of these allows you a bonus roll and advances your trip around the board. Playing pieces will include tiny golden Oscar statuettes, tombstones, coffins, and Lamborghinis.

Obviously, veteran watchers of “The Insider”, “Entertainment Tonight”, and “Dancing With The Stars” will have a clear advantage in this game. The same holds true for loyal readers of People Magazine, US Weekly, and all publications owned by Rupert Murdock. As I write this, we have over 200 inmates in prisons across Arkansas busy assembling our games; they should arrive at dollar stores across the country Thanksgiving weekend. The debut price will be $2.99 for the board and dice, with the 50-count packs of celebrity cards selling for an additional 75 cents.

To date our stars include Dan Rather, Ricky Nelson, John Coltrane, Daryl Hall, Amy Winehouse, Richard Chamberlain, Cass Elliot, Johnny Carson, Rosemary Clooney, Charles Bronson, Richard Gere, Colonel Sanders, Merv Griffin, Lucille Ball, Barry White, Phoebe Snow, Gene Hackman, Debbie Reynolds, Luther Vandross, Ted Kennedy, Mary Tyler Moore, Karl Malden, Lauren Bacall, Cary Grant, Scooby Doo, Bridgette Bardot, Jane Fonda, Glen Campbell, Jackie Gleason. Well, I could go on and on, and knowing me, I probably will, but just not today.

Thanking all of my loyal readers in advance for purchasing our product and for helping the 4 Hicks get a leg up out of the sticks!

Image of Amy Winehouse from egotvonline.com

4 thoughts on “The Solution to All Your Holiday Gift Giving Needs (Yer Welcome!) #78

      • I think you’ve really got something here, Renee! Just looking at the list of names, I’m already guessing Straight, Straight, Straight, Straight, Straight, Gay, Straight, Straight … and I’m wondering if there can be a category “More Famous in This Country or Germany.” David Hasselhoff! I’d like some bonus points, because most people wouldn’t even give him cred for being famous at all. Except for the time he ate a hamburger off the floor.

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